All posts by janejardine

Why Princess Mononoke Is Miyazaki’s Best Film

An evil curse, a princess raised by wolves and cinema’s coolest elk – here’s why Miyazaki’s eighth animated feature is (for me) the greatest of all his films.

 In one of the first scenes in Hayao Miyazaki’s magical epic Princess Mononoke, a dying boar god-turned-demon brands humans “disgusting little creatures” before, in very graphic detail, all the flesh on his body melts off with a hiss. This is the first clue that unlike some of his previous films (e.g. the cute and fun Kiki’s Delivery Service and My Neighbour Totoro), Princess Mononoke is something a little different, and quite a lot darker.

It is the story of a young warrior, Prince Ashitaka, who, after being cursed by the aforementioned demon leaves his village to beg the Spirit of the Forest to save him. One the way, he meets San (otherwise known as the titular Princess Mononoke), a girl raised by the wolf gods, determined to kill the icy Lady Eboshi – mistress of Iron Town and a woman set on wiping out the creatures of the forest and claiming the land for her own.

It’s a tale unlike Miyazaki’s previous work, filled with black magic, blood and rage. Heads fly off, arms and legs are severed; at one point San’s adoptive mother, the wolf god Moro (voiced by Gillian Anderson) wonders aloud of the day she’ll get to crunch Eboshi’s face off. For people who love Miyazaki’s films but want something a bit more intense, Princess Mononoke is the one to choose.

Contrasted with the violence is the spellbinding beauty of the animation. It’s what Studio Ghibli is known for and Mononoke is no exception. The detail in each shot not only makes it hard to believe that most of it was hand-drawn (it was the first Miyazaki feature to feature CG in certain shots), but that this film was released in 1997, the same year Disney released Hercules. To compare the two artistically would be an insult. With much of the action taking place in an enchanted forest, the animators pay particular attention to things like the way the trees move in the wind, the ripples in the water and the smears of blood on the wounded. It’s in these details that the film becomes special.

Ashitaka and his red elk, Yakul
Ashitaka and his red elk, Yakul

The other thing that’s so enticing about Princess Mononoke is that it blends the action scenes seamlessly with quiet, still moments. It is what the Japanese call ‘ma’, or emptiness. Miyazaki intentionally puts it in his films to create tension and allow the audience to remember where they are within the tale. Scenes that just show the rain starting or Ashitaka’s adorable red elk Yakul nibbling the grass are there to remind the viewer that the forest is important; juxtaposed with the noise and smoke of the human village it serves to generate anger at the humans for their ignorance. It’s a somewhat overused message now but here it’s subtly done, and hugely effective.

Key to the story is the relationship between Ashitaka (voiced by Billy Crudup) and San (Clare Danes). It is a delicately handled romance that never intrudes on the more central narrative of the humans versus the gods. It’s there, but it’s not forced. Instead, they represent both sides of the battle. Ashitaka is the human, albeit wiser than the people of Iron Town, but still naïve and quick to reach for his bow. San embodies the creatures of the forest; rash and animalistic. Their coming together is proof that it’s possible for the two sides to live in harmony.

Princess Mononoke is not only my favourite Studio Ghibli film, but also my favourite film full stop. A masterfully structured fable, it is an adventure unlike any kind of animated story you’ve ever seen and certainly one that stays with you. Miyazaki ensnares you within the opening monologue and keeps you absolutely mesmerized throughout. It is cinematic perfection – disturbing, moving and just spectacular.

The Lord of the Rings Is The Greatest Film Trilogy Of All Time – And Here’s Why

Okay, feel free to disagree with me (and I’m sure some of you will), but I am honestly of the opinion that Peter Jackson’s original Middle-Earth trilogy is the greatest cinematic triad of all time. Back in 2001, The Fellowship of the Ring opened on the big screen and changed how people saw the fantasy genre forever. I was thirteen – and it blew me away. Not only was the scale unlike anything people had ever seen, but the adaption of Tolkien’s work was so rich and well done that it opened the door for legions of new fans to a faction of popular culture that was, until that point, fairly inaccessable.

Taking into account the Star Wars and Star Trek franchises, as well as The Matrix, Alien etc., there was a burgeoning interest in the worlds of science fiction and fantasy bubbling away under the surface of society pre-Fellowship. What The Lord of the Rings did was to create an accessable, new story (or new insofar as a re-imagining; Tolkien’s first volume was published in 1954) that didn’t require an understanding of a complex pre-established plot or posed the daunting challenge of having to understand space, time or computer science. The Fellowship of the Ring re-awakened a fascination for kings and strange lands, mythical creatures, huge battles and, most of all, an unexpected hero on a spectacular journey.

One of the many things that’s brilliant about LotR is that there are numerous characters who fill that criteria. Obviously there’s Frodo Baggins, the hobbit at the centre of the tale who overcomes his own fears to complete a challenge far bigger than he is. Anyone can relate to that. There’s Aragorn, who goes from ranger to King on an adventure that teaches him to accept what he was always meant to be. Anyone can relate to that. Eowyn of Rohan, who fears neither death nor pain but a cage instead, and displays incredible bravery to overcome the boundaries set for her by others. Anyone can relate to that. There’s a character arc for everyone within the LotR trilogy.

The entire three movies took 274 days to shoot, running from October 1999 to December 2000. Pick-ups were filmed over six weeks annually from 2001 to 2004. Peter Jackson oversaw the entire thing. When he couldn’t be on a site in person he watched his unit directors from live feeds. Not only has he become an icon of fantasy film for millions of fans, but his work ethic and passion for his job has been recognised by everyone from fellow directors to the Academy. It serves to inspire people. New Zealand has become a must-visit destination off the back of the movies; they boosted tourism tenfold.

The Lord of the Rings is an epic story. It’s completely consuming. The scale of the effort that went into making the films was extraordinary and it’s what makes them such amazing pieces of cinema. They helped to launch the careers of many of the stars (Orlando Bloom, Dominic Monaghan and Karl Urban among them) and introduced younger people to acting legends like Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Christopher Lee.

But perhaps the main reason The Lord of the Rings is the greatest trilogy of all time is because it is, quite simply, timeless. The stories and morals within them were important back in the early 00s and they still are now. Where the original Star Wars films make us feel nostalgic with their classic phaser CG, The Lord of the Rings still looks as visually stunning as it did ten years ago. The music is still powerful. The deaths still hurt. I didn’t fully understand what the ring did to Boromir as a thirteen-year-old, but now his story, for me, is possibly one of the most tragic. It’s that detail and awareness of a growing audience that made LotR a phenomenon and the reason it still is today.

Whether it’s the characters, the plots, the action, the music, the love stories or whatever else – The Lord of the Rings is simply the greatest cinematic spectacle of all time. It changed the fantasy filmmaking game, and an argument could be made that it’s had a bigger cultural impact than anything that came before it. Certainly with my generation, it’s the film saga that gave people their first real taste of adventure in the cinema.

I have to thank Peter Jackson (and everyone else involved) from the bottom of my heart for that.

The Best Film Scores Of 2014

From Alexandre Desplat to Hans Zimmer, film composers have had a busy year sending film-goers on some spectacular aural adventures. They’ve sent us through black holes and into dystopian revolutions, and yet they’re often overlooked when it comes to the annual barrage of end-of-year lists. So here, in no particular order, is a compilation of what are (in my opinion) the best film film scores of the last twelve months.

Stick your headphones in, make yourself comfortable – and enjoy.

Interstellar by Hans Zimmer

He’s the pro, the stalwart of film composotion and frankly, a gift that keeps giving. Teaming up with Christopher Nolan once again, Zimmer’s score for the space epic that is Interstellar used building organ segments such as the one in No Time For Caution (below), creating an ominious through tone that had you holding your breath without realising. The beat that ticks like a clock throughout serves to remind us that Cooper, Brand and co. are racing against time to find humanity a new planet. Pure genius.

 

Godzilla by Alexandre Desplat

Possibly the busiest composer of the year (writing an astonishing six scores), Desplat’s music for Gareth Edward’s reimagining of Godzilla mixes contemplative piano with aggressive string sections. Reminiscent of John Williams’s theme for Jaws in places, Desplat’s music for Godzilla effectively conveys the scale and power of the beast whilst still keeping things poignant for scenes of tragedy. If you’re looking for the chilling music that played in the trailer with that incredible HALO jump sequence, it’s Gyorgy Ligeti’s Kyrie, Requiem, which you can find HERE.

 

The Grand Budapest Hotel by Alexandre Desplat

Desplat again, but this time lending his scoring prowess to the quirky and uniquely recognisable Wes Anderson. The Grand Budapest Hotel was one of this years gems, and required a soundtrack that added to the comedic brilliance that was Ralph Fiennes’s performance. A film about theft and murder set in the fictional country of Zubrowka, Desplat used traditional eastern European influences to add to the mystery and fun of the film.

 

Mockingjay by James Newton Howard

Jennifer Lawrence’s Mockingjay, Katniss Everdeen, found herself leading a full-scale rebellion in the latest chapter of the Hunger Games cinematic adaptions. James Newton Howard continues his dystopian saga with the third film, maintaining that powerful blend of simple yet moving segments for Katniss with full on militaristic pieces that accurately mirror the threat of the evil President Snow. The score is menacing and yet somehow uplifting – the Mockingjay theme builds to a moving  crescendo of strings before finishing with an ominous outro as she faces the daunting challenges ahead.

 

 X-Men: Days of Future Past by John Ottman

Taking the reigns from First Class composer Henry Jackman, Ottman’s score for the latest mutant blockbuster adds to his X-Men collection having previously provided the music for X2. With our favourite heroes facing certain defeat in the future, Wolverine is sent back in time but finds the young Professor Xavier a broken man following Raven’s defection to Magneto’s cause and the closure of his school. This piece, Xavier’s theme, plays as he’s urged by his older self to hope again. Ottman uses a mix of piano and strings with synth tones to reflect the themes of old and new at one of the most poignant and important moments of the film.

 

 Captain America: The Winter Soldier by Henry Jackman

With its neglection of the themes Alan Silvestri created for the first Cap outing and its heavy reliance on electronic sound, Jackman’s score for The Winter Soldier came under fire for being too different from the first film’s album. But this is Cap in modern times, facing an enemy (or old friend?) with a bionic arm. It needed some new, digital sound and Jackman delivered with what he describes as an “injection of symphonic, thematic, heroic music”. It’s an energetic and punchy soundtrack with some cracking sections for fight scenes, such as this one for the battle on The Causeway.

 

Guardians of the Galaxy by Tyler Bates

Spare a thought for Tyler Bates, whose hard work producing a soundtrack for the superb GotG was overshadowed by the success of the old school Awesome Mix Vol. 1 that added nostalgia to a throroughly futuristic Marvel movie. When it’s not Blue Swede playing,  Bates’s score fuses military drum beats with heroic strings for our heroes and menacing vocal and brass undertones for the villains, ultimately creating a clear and coherant musical journey for an unusual (but brilliant) superhero film.

 

Agree/disagree with the choices above?

Share your opinions by leaving a comment!

Benedict Cumberbatch Is Doctor Strange

In quite possibly the least surprising casting announcement to date, Marvel have finally revealed that Benedict Cumberbatch is officially confirmed to play Doctor Strange. The actor has spent months dodging questions on the surgeon-turned-sorcerer ever since rumours he was top choice started circling in October.

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Marvel producer Kevin Fiege said in a statement that: “Stephen Strange’s story requires an actor capable of great depth and sincerity. In 2016, Benedict will show audiences what makes Doctor Strange such a unique and compelling character.”

After a car crash seriously damages his hands, the self-serving Strange is forced to quit his career in neurosurgery. Finding no success in conventional therapies and quickly running out of money, he heads (obviously…) for the Himalayas, where he encounters a magical healer called the Ancient One and learns the mystic arts in order to defeat the nefarious Baron Mordo.

This is the second big casting announcement from the comic book giant in the latter part of this year, following confirmation that Chadwick Boseman (42, Get On Up) will be playing Black Panther. As is Marvel tradition, there’s a good chance at least one of the two will appear in an end-credit stinger (or at least get a mention) in the upcoming Age of Ultron.

Doctor Strange is slated for a July 2016 release.

Bond 24 is SPECTRE

Bond 24 finally has its official title: Spectre. After months of speculation, director Sam Mendes annouced the name at a grand unveiling at Pinewood Studios this morning. Mendes takes the helm and hopes to emulate the success of his previous Bond outing, the billion-dollar grossing Skyfall. The name Spectre is well-known to fans of the earlier Bond films as the acronym Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion. Possibly one of the coolest names in film. Expect extreme shadiness.

The first official poster.
The first official poster.

As for the cast…well, Daniel Craig is still Bond, Ralph Fiennes has his first real go at being the new M, as well as Naomi Harris and Ben Whishaw returning as Moneypenny and Q respectively. New to the MI6 team is Andrew Scott, playing a figure called Denbigh. The Bond girls are Lea Seydoux and Monica Bellucci, and Dave Bautista adds muscle as Mr Hinx. Double Academy Award-winning Christoph Waltz is the big bad, as…erm…not Blofeld, as rumoured. His villain is named Oberhauser. No mention of the kitty-stroking slaphead (and leader of the eponymous terrorist organisation) at all. Hmm… The official synopsis reads as follows: “A cryptic message from Bond’s past sends him on a trail to uncover a sinister organisation. While M battles political forces to keep the secret service alive, Bond peels back the layers of deceit to reveal the terrible truth behind SPECTRE.” As well as a new mission and new cast members, fans can expect a new Aston Martin (the DB10), which was present for its photoshoot this morning alongside the actors. Spectre is due for release on October 23rd 2015.

Five Reasons Agent Coulson Is The Most Invaluable Avenger

Spoilers ahead for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D season one. 

Phil Coulson has been a busy man. Not only has he gone from being an unassuming S.H.I.E.L.D official to an indespensible agent with his own show, he’s also, over the years, become one of the MCU’s favourite characters. He is the glue that holds the Avengers together and yet his position amongst them is so humble that people don’t tend to include him amongst the superhero vanguard of Gods and Hulks that he helped put together. The Son of Coul is arguably the most invaluable member of the team, certainly a hero in his own right. And here are a few reasons why he should be your favourite too.

He’s Fury’s Most Trusted Agent

He’s found Mjolnir, he’s babysat Stark and he’s been a part of just about every major S.H.I.E.L.D mission we’ve seen. He’s Fury’s self-confessed “one good eye”. Where other Avengers could be distracted from missions by their own problems or indeed their own narcissism, Coulson is thoroughly committed to upholding the values that S.H.I.E.L.D was founded on. For that reason, it is a logical decision that Fury makes in appointing Coulson the Director in the finale of AoS season one.

Fury and Coulson, his "one good eye", in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Fury and Coulson, his “one good eye”, in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

He’s A Bit Of All Of Them

Cap’s honour, Stark’s wit, Romanoff and Barton’s values, Thor’s worthiness and Banner’s humility – Coulson is all of the Avengers in one man-sized bundle. That, and the fact he can kick some serious arse (as first witnessed in the one-shot A Funny Thing That Happened On The Way To Thor’s Hammer). The reason he gets one with all of them is because he is all of them.

He’s A Worthy Leader

In AoS, he’s in charge of his own team, all of whom have different specialities and personal drives, Coulson creates not just a group of hardcore agents but a family. He knows how to get people working together, and he’s not afraid to take risks to prove people to themselves. Of course, this has its downsides and he has put his team in danger (see T.R.A.C.K.S for example) but at the end of the day no one would think twice about heading into dangerous territory to keep him by their side.

His ‘Death’ Was The Driving Force Behind Victory In New York

After Loki spears him through the heart, the rest of the Avengers are united in their grief. So much so that they are motivated to crush an entire alien invasion that same afternoon. If it had been anyone else, Barton say, or Maria Hill…it would’ve been sad. But for some reason Coulson’s death was the one that hurt the most. Perhaps because he’s connected to each of them in some way, and without him, none of them would be a part of that team. Albeit temporary, his death was the catalyst Cap and co. needed to unite and protect the Earth. And Coulson knew it.

He’s A True Avenger

He is an Avenger. Fury says it himself. Coulson is the best of them – a leader and mentor (and friend) they’d be lost without. He doesn’t need a suit of iron or God-like powers to bring the villains to their knees, just a business suit and occasionally a massive gun. With his killer lines and unflappable demeanor, he’s the one we can connect to the most, and that’s why we love him the best.

Here’s hoping he makes his return in Age of Ultron, out next May.

Why Foxcatcher Is The Most Exciting True-Crime Drama Of 2014

In January 1996, the US Olympic wrestler Dave Schultz was shot dead in the driveway of his home on the 800-acre Foxcatcher Farm in Pennsylvania. The culprit? The American wrestling team’s sponsor – multimillionaire John du Pont, who had given Schultz a place to live on his sprawling estate in order to coach and train the men (including Schultz’s younger brother Mark) competing at the Games in Atlanta that summer. In 1997 a judge found du Pont guilty of third degree murder and declared him mentally ill; in the run up to the shooting, du Pont had become increasingly paranoid, convinced Dave Schultz was plotting to kill him as part of a wider conspiracy. He died in prison in 2010.

Fast forward to 2014, and the case has been turned into one of the most talked about cinematic dramas of the year. Director Bennett Miller (Capote, Moneyball) has cast an unusual selection of actors into the roles, most notably choosing the typically comedic Steve Carrell to play the schizophrenic du Pont. Mark Ruffalo and Channing Tatum play the Schultz brothers Sr. and Jr. respectively. Their performances have been labelled career defining by publications that have seen the film, and Miller won Best Director at this year’s Cannes Film Festival.

However, it is Carrell’s performance that is generating the most buzz. From the trailer alone you know that this is going to be something special; his audible breaths as he’s questioning Mark Schultz about his future, the way he celebrates like a child as the squad chant his name, the chilling calmness with which he enters the gym with a gun in his hand. Once Tatum’s Schultz chooses to train as part of Team Foxcatcher, du Pont is relentless in his need to keep him under his control and is threatened by Ruffalo’s elder, and more knowledgeable brother.

Carrell, perhaps more than anyone else, is making a statement about his abilities as an actor and it has not gone unnoticed by the critics and likely neither the Academy. In an interview with EW, Miller revealed that the audience didn’t even recognise Carrell at a test screening: “If I say I’m going to make a movie about a guy who’s a schizophrenic murderer, there are probably a dozen actors who would immediately appear on anybody’s casting list and Steve would not be on any of those lists. And that’s a good thing. Because it’s unexpected.”

As a plot, Foxcatcher is a gift to a director. Especially a director with a technique for storytelling as refined as Bennett Miller. True crime dramas are a risky business, as audiences already know the endings. What Miller has done with Foxcatcher is to amp up the suspense and demand so much from his actors (Tatum has described the experience as “the hardest acting challenge I’ve had to date”) that the story almost becomes more disturbing than the crime itself. It asks what the price of sporting success is, and questions how far people are willing to go to achieve it.

As an intense, complex psychological drama, Foxcatcher is not only a winner, it’s a must-see.

Foxcatcher is in UK cinemas from December 20th.

What’s Happened To Doctor Who?

First off, I just want to point out that I do like Doctor Who. I think Peter Capaldi is fantastic as Twelve (honestly, he’s doing a cracking job with what he’s being given) and the past few seasons have featured some great stories (“Listen”, “The Doctor’s Wife”, “The God Complex” and “Forest of the Dead” are a few of my favourites). I still get a buzz of excitement before a new episode in the same way that I did at the midpoint of David Tennant’s era, when my obsession with the show was at its peak. The problem is that I just don’t love it anymore, not like I used to. And I’m not alone.

Saturday night television on BBC One is, generally, a mixed bag when it comes to its flagship family programming. To use a rating system devised by friends, its output ranges from The Musketeers (“meh”) past Robin Hood (“cheesy but fun”) up to Doctor Who (“unmissable, absolute silence necessary”) via Merlin (“like Doctor Who you can talk through”). Each show has the same formula: twelve or thirteen episodes, a hero/heroes you can root for, easy to follow and often predictable plots and erm… almost exclusively white male leads. The problem with Doctor Who now is that it’s stopped ticking those boxes.

Apart from the white male lead, of course.

Last Saturday’s episode, “Kill the Moon”, aired at 8:30pm and finished at 9:15pm. Granted, some of its scenes were reminiscent of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, but for a programme that has children as its core demographic, this broadcast time seems ill thought-out. The Beeb’s ongoing tustle with ITV over Saturday evenings threatens to lose them viewers if they continue to follow Strictly Come Dancing with Doctor Who and not the other way around. The Doctor and Clara

That’s far from the main problem however, which is that the show just isn’t fun anymore. Steven Moffat can protest all he wants that the show is as comprehensible as it was when Russell T Davies was in charge, but it’s falling on deaf ears. I stopped trying to keep up with the timey-wimey complexity of his scripts after “The Wedding of River Song”. Now we’re over halfway through Twelve’s first series and we still have no idea if we’re supposed to like him or not (neither does he), we don’t have a clue what Danny Pink has to do with all of this other than to provide Clara with another male saviour, and Michelle Gomez’s Missy is more frustrating than intriguing; popping up at the end of odd episodes and smirking some guff about ‘the promised land’. It’s just not what it used to be.

Instead of encouraging viewers of all ages to come along on an adventure, Doctor Who now challenges fans to engage in an unwinnable intellectual competition, where we’re expected to follow multiple convoluted plots with scraps of vague information drip-fed at the end of random episodes. To whom do I send my apologies for not wanting to play along? The comedy that made Catherine Tate’s era in the Tardis successful has all but been written out in favour of glum stories and a Doctor who prefers to make snide comments about companion Clara’s appearance over inspiring speeches penned to make us humans feel special. Gone is the warming relationship between the Time Lord and his everyday companion; we now have a cold and distant alien and a sidekick none of us can relate to. Which leads me onto the next issue.

Poor Jenna Coleman. Having been trounced by Billie Piper’s beloved Rose Tyler in a recent Radio Times poll of our favourite companions, and with a character arc that must be as baffling to her as it is to us (most episodes find her staring wide-eyed at things and asking what’s going on), she has every right to feel cheated. The companion’s role is to connect the audience to the Doctor, but Clara’s storyline is even more confusing than Twelve’s. It just isn’t possible to relate to one of three different variations of the same person who entered the Doctor’s timestream and has ultimately been born “to save the Doctor”. Not in the same way that we could relate to a London shopworker who lived on a council estate.

Most of all I feel for Peter Capaldi. I genuinely fear that the man who is potentially the biggest Doctor Who fan out of all of us now faces the same fate as Sylvester McCoy – series cancellation. It’s time for the showrunners to sit down and start figuring out what they’re going to do, because at this rate, people won’t be returning for series nine.

We Need To Talk About Lionel: In Conversation with Lionel Shriver

In the lower levels of Tremough House, Falmouth University, it’s hard to ignore the nervous energy that buzzes like static through the school of writing and journalism. Staff brush past quickly and on their tiptoes, people conduct their conversations in hushed tones; the sound of a teaspoon clinking against a fresh mug of coffee in the kitchenette causes one to wince. The reason for this restless atmosphere lies down a short hallway, where the acclaimed novelist Lionel Shriver is conducting a workshop.

As the university’s latest writer in residence, Shriver has swapped her transatlantic lifestyle for a month’s stay in Cornwall. Having previously visited the West Country only once before (and finding that one stay far from enough), she has returned to lead seminars, host book readings and impart her experience and knowledge of prose to the institution’s aspiring writers.

With her workshop finished for the day, she invites me in to begin the interview. She’s shorter than I’d expected. Her hair is drawn back in a bun and her eyes survey me immediately with a piercing sharpness that’s earned her a reputation for being fearsome. However, after speaking to her for five minutes, it becomes clear that this is a fairly unwarranted preconception. Fearsome is the wrong word.

“I find this whole scary thing a little baffling,” she admits, “and I think it’s a euphemism for something else which may have to do with the fact I’m fairly forthright, I’ve strong views, I’m not shy, and I’m female…and I’m American. I think it’s got some gender content because I don’t think you usually call male writers scary. You would call them formidable, or intimidating.”

Would she rather be intimidating? “I’d rather be formidable. I don’t mind the idea of being formidable. But I certainly don’t think I’ve earned a reputation for being nasty.”

Her responsibilities as the writer in residence at Falmouth have left her with limited free time to explore the county, much to her chagrin. Still, she has managed to find some breaks in her hectic schedule to visit St Ives, and also to walk, run and cycle – things she describes as her idea of fun.

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“To me that’s really what Cornwall’s about. It’s about the landscape, it’s about the land, it’s the weather.” Of course, she’s only seen the nice weather. She wasn’t here for the winter storms.

“Oh I know!” she laughs. “Believe me, knowing I was coming here changed my feelings, which would’ve been vaguely sympathetic anyway, but from London, this place seems a long way away. Knowing I was coming I felt more invested in what happened here. It was more painful, so I can’t imagine how painful it was for you folks.”

“I’m afraid that for all women who have grown up when I have, and coming after me, the whole weight thing has been an element of our lives.”

Shriver is probably best known for writing We Need To Talk About Kevin (for which she won the 2005 Orange Prize) but her bibliography covers all manner of subjects, from tennis to Africa to journalism. Her latest novel, Big Brother, was published last year and, true to form, tackles the theme of obesity in her typically unflinching, unsettling and darkly humorous way. The difference with Big Brother is that while it is absolutely not an autobiography (a cause of much frustration for Shriver), it does draw parallels with her own life. In the book, a woman’s life is turned upside down when her morbidly obese brother shows up in need of a place to stay. In reality, Shriver lost her own brother Greg to complications relating to obesity in 2009. Does she think tragedy inspires purer, or more honest writing?

“It gave me a way in to the material. It justified in some ways my involvement with the experience of being truly obese, because it happened in my family and I’ve seen it from close up,” she explains. “I’m afraid that for all women who have grown up when I have, and coming after me, the whole weight thing has been an element of our lives. So there’s a degree to which it belongs to all of us, that material.”

She notes that the weight problem in the UK is just as bad as the US, as much as we’d like to deny it. “When I first came here in 1987 it was still fashionable to make jokes about fat Americans, and I’ve noticed that has almost completely died off because it’s the pot calling the kettle black. Or rather,” she grins, “fat.”

There seems to be a lot of things Shriver is passionate about, or keen to bring to people’s attention. Her writing challenges contemporary issues head-on, but she’s willing to admit that a lot of the time the ideas simply stem from “whatever’s biting my bum at the moment”. Currently, she has a fervent interest in economics. No prizes for guessing what her next novel’s about, though she remains firmly tight-lipped when I ask for more details.

I wonder aloud if it’s hard to continuously write with such consistency knowing that there’s an albatross of expectation draped across her shoulders. Does she ever wish she wasn’t so well known?

“I think that there are disadvantages to both being obscure and well known. I’ve tasted both sides of that one,” she says. We Need To Talk About Kevin was, in her words, her “make or break” novel after years of obscurity. “I prefer to communicate to as large an audience as possible because that makes the work more worthwhile. I’d rather be well known than a complete nobody.”

“But I’m not naïve on the fact that there are some sacrifices,” she adds, lamenting the lack of time she has to just sit down and get lost in her writing these days.

Shriver gave two talks while at Falmouth (the first sold out). She read aloud from Big Brother, and then answered questions in a Q&A with the audience. One of the points she was keen to impress was that there is no excuse for boring your audience. But surely boredom is relative. How does she make sure her work stays engaging?

“It’s hard to know what other people care about, what interests them and what bores them,” she says. “When you’re bringing a book to print, you have to read that same text over and over again and if, on the tenth go-round, you can’t stand to read that anymore it probably shouldn’t be there. The only test that I’ve got is something that is genuinely boring is going to start boring even me.”

One of of her key concerns is the lack of funding libraries are getting, though she admits that in her view, they’re becoming more like community centres. “I’m a little ambivalent about the over-loosening of the role that you have to keep your mouth shut. I liked the almost hallowed hush that allowed for a kind of concentration. I like the little touch of the sacred, and now you’ve got kids running around screaming and it’s not the same.”

The other issue she’s appalled by is the teaching of grammar in today’s society.

“It’s not even bad! It’s just not taught anymore, and it breaks my heart,” she says, totally honestly. “One of the reasons that you come to value information is that you’ve been taught to value it, and when it’s left out of the curriculum, then the message is this doesn’t matter.”

She apologises for the sudden rant, admitting she’s been in teaching mode all day and that she’s sick of having to indent the paragraphs of people who should know better. We change the subject to something a little less vexing. Cornwall.

Now that she’s had some time to get a feel of the county, can she see herself drawing inspiration from the rugged coastline, the fishing villages or the sheer natural beauty of the place? She certainly wouldn’t be the first author to do so.

“Possibly,” she says. “I mean, I’ve been here one other time and ended up setting a short story here. I never know what’s going to end up being useful.”

“I think that there are disadvantages to both being obscure and well known. I’ve tasted both sides of that one.”

The second time we meet, it’s for her photo shoot. In between having her photo taken, she comes and talks to me. She’s concerned she’s going to stink out the room after forgetting to remove sprigs of wild Cornish garlic from her bicycle panniers. The photographer announces he’s ready to start up again and Shriver glares witheringly at the chaise longue in the centre of the room, before joking: “Do you want me spread out naked on that?”

That’s the Lionel Shriver no one really gets to read about. Before meeting her, the posters that line the walls of the university made her look, to use her preferred phrase, formidable. But after we’ve said goodbye and she sincerely says she enjoyed meeting me (something journalists rarely hear), I notice that in the photographs, there’s just a hint of a playful smile on her face. That’s the Lionel I met. What’s the famous phrase? Oh yes.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Hugh McIlmoyle: Carlisle Legend

40 YEARS SINCE THEIR LEAGUE ONE PROMOTION, THE CUFC LEGEND TALKS PLAYING TOP-FLIGHT FOOTBALL, TEAM SPIRIT, AND THE LIKELIHOOD OF THE BLUES’ ESCAPING RELEGATION.

Upon first meeting Hugh McIlmoyle, one may be forgiven for thinking this isn’t the same man who’s something of a Cumbrian hero, a man with a statue of himself in pride of place outside Brunton Park, a man whose name is nothing short of legend where Carlisle United is concerned.

Indeed, when his wife Rosalind guides us into their living room, he’s deep in conversation with the builder who’s been round to work that morning. He’s wearing tartan slippers and, aside from the odd bits of footballing memorabilia dotted around the room, there’s nothing to suggest he is the icon everyone believes him to be.

But spend five minutes with him, and you’ll find yourself wondering why you ever doubted it. Physically you can tell he was a footballer. Now 74, he’s still in pretty good shape. When he talks, it’s in a warm Scottish brogue that’s full of passion for the game, for the club, and his own experiences.

Our meeting is no coincidence. This year marks the 40th anniversary of Carlisle United’s promotion to League One, a feat the famous Liverpool and ex-Carlisle manager Bill Shankly praised as “the greatest feat in the history of the game”. For McIlmoyle, the promotion to top-flight football came at a time when he was considering hanging up his boots, having already played for Carlisle twice in his career.

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“It was ’73, I was at Greenock Morton, and I was on the verge of retiring,” he explains. “At the beginning of July I got a phone call from David Dent, who was the secretary at Carlisle United, asking me to go down and see him, and he wanted to sign me on. You can imagine the surprise it was for me!” he laughs. The choice was a no-brainer: “I signed on for them for the third time.”

“One thing Carlisle always had when I was playing with them in the sixties and seventies was team spirit, you know? For me, you need to have that in teams if you’re going to progress.”

Carlisle entered the First Division in 1974. To this day, it remains the lowest populated location in England to have a team in the top league since 1906.

“Everybody was looking forward to it so much because it was a bit of a miracle, you know? In this day and age there is no chance at all that a club as small as Carlisle could enter the Premiership. None whatsoever.” He doesn’t come across as cynical; it’s just a fact of modern football. “Back then in the sixties and seventies it was more of a level pitch. Everybody was probably on the same wage, you know, a fiver here or a tenner there.”

Carlisle faced Chelsea in the first game of the season, a game that the North London side were strong favourites to win. “You know,” says McIlmoyle fondly, “there’s a lot of things I forget about the past but that, I’ll never forget about it. Coming out of the tunnel and all the Chelsea players were standing there shaking our hands. You see it all the time now, they do it regularly, but for them to do that…” he trails off, temporarily lost in the incredible memory.

“Obviously everyone expected them to win, but one thing Carlisle always had when I was playing with them in the sixties and seventies was team spirit, you know? For me, you need to have that in teams if you’re going to progress. We weren’t frightened or anything, we just went out. We knew we were a strong team and when we got the first goal it just seemed to enlighten everything, and then the second goal and that was it. It was a game I’ll never forget.”

Carlisle won 2-0, and went on to top the table with further wins over Middlesborough, Spurs and a famous double over Everton. Despite being relegated at the end of the season, it will forever be remembered as the year the small northern city took on the big names without fear. The notion of team spirit is a recurring theme of our conversation, and clearly something McIlmoyle takes seriously.

“It was a big thing then, to have this team spirit,” he says. “I mean obviously it doesn’t work for all teams but if you’ve got a good manager he knows what it is to have it. One time at Carlisle we only had 18 players and didn’t have a reserve team, but the team spirit was 100%.”

And now, with the current Carlisle team sitting perilously close to relegation (at the time of writing), it’s even more important. For him, there’s a clear connection between feeling like you’re part of a team, and playing well. He’s always spoken openly about his love for the city and people of Carlisle, and it was this sense of being part of something brimming with that energy that helped him make a name for himself during his first stint at United in 1963. The result spoke for itself; during the ‘63/’64 season he broke the goal-scoring record, hitting the net 44 times.

“I got 44 that particular season, but it didn’t bother me,” he muses. “I didn’t go out and think: ‘I’ve got to score today’. I think someone said to me it was 39 or 42, the record, and I don’t know if it was psychological but I then went four or five games without scoring!”

“When you get into a winning streak it’s good. You have bags of confidence obviously, but when you’re losing you get the opposite effect. Once you start losing it’s difficult to get out of it. It’s in your head.”

His abilities as a prolific goalscorer caught the attention of Wolverhampton Wanderers. He left Brunton Park for Molineux at the end of 1964, making 90 appearances for Wolves. The most memorable of which for him was against an all-star Manchester United, where he scored two goals in the first five minutes. “I remember it was a half seven kick-off. I scored two in a couple of minutes and I looked at the clock and it read twenty-five-to and I thought: ‘Bloomin’ ‘eck, two-nothing up!’”

But it was always at Carlisle that he felt he belonged. “There are some places you go to and it might be nice, you might think it’s nice, but I’ve never lost the same feelings as I’ve got now from forty, or fifty years ago when I first came. It’s just the same. It’s just a nice place to be.”

Again, he puts this down to an overriding sense of morale. It isn’t something you can manufacture and it isn’t something that comes solely from the training ground. So how did he do it? McIlmoyle would often go out with his Carlisle teammates and strike up conversation with fans in the pub. “It got you out in the community but also got you that bonding. You were going out with your friends and you take that onto the pitch with you and it’s something that’s hard to break in.”

“I mean obviously they couldn’t do that now because…” He pauses, trying to think of the reason that’s stopping today’s Carlisle players from forming a closer bond with the fans. He gives up. “I don’t know why,” he sighs.

“They just live in a different world from what we did. We were working-class, whereas now they’re way above…I think that’s partly the bonding and another big thing – everybody lived in Carlisle, you know? The whole team, the manager, assistant manager, they lived in Carlisle. Whereas now, they come from the north, they come from Yorkshire, places like that.”

The problem Carlisle face now is their lack of confidence, and a team that seems to change every week – something McIlmoyle attests. “I go down to Carlisle nowadays and I don’t know who’s playing!” Now, with only a handful of games left for the Blues to fight relegation, it’s down to the fans to give the players something to fight for, because they’re going into games with their heads down. McIlmoyle has noticed this, too. “Individually, they’re not playing as well.”

“No,” he corrects himself. “I don’t mean not as well. When you get into a winning streak it’s good. You have bags of confidence obviously, but when you’re losing you get the opposite effect. I think that’s similar to what’s happening now, what actually happened halfway through the season when we were in the Premiership, the confidence went. And then, they started to buy players in and it just didn’t work out. Once you start losing it’s difficult to get out of it. It’s in your head.”

Hugh McIlmoyle is a footballer from a bygone era. Gone are the days of equal (not astronomical) wages, dropping into the local for a pint on a Wednesday evening, and the players painting the offices at the ground. Football nowadays is preoccupied with sports psychologists, everyday weigh-ins and money.

But if he’s anything, McIlmoyle certainly isn’t defeatist. With relegation a very real possibility, though, what does he honestly feel about United’s chances? “Down here [pats stomach] I think they’ll do it, but up here [points at head] I know it’s near enough impossible.”

McIlmoyle will remain a United hero for as long as Carlisle stays a football club, whatever the league. Forty years since reaching the First Division, he still considers it “the greatest thing they’ve done”.

“That’s always going to be there,” he smiles, “and you can’t take that away from them.”